Boxes

I've just had the biggest kick in the gut that I've had in a long time. Someone pointing out how wrong I've been. Doing the exact thing I hate others doing to me.

I got caught up a massive wave of emotions that took me on the ride of lifetime. With so much floating round my head lately, I found myself judging someone quite harshly. I have no right. I just fell way short of the life and love that God planned for me.

What a lesson to learn.

I wish I could say I could just turn it off. But being kicked really hurts. Ok so God isnt doing the kicking. I think its me. Who knew God could use the same person I'm judging to tell me that I'm judging.

I hate seeing people screw their life up, even if it looks like they are having fun. It will catch up eventually. Maybe its part jealously that I can't have that lifestyle. But if I was in that position I couldnt live that lifestyle. Its just not me. Maybe I wish it was me even just for a day. To enjoy myself and not think about the consequences. To just be free...

I know in God I am free but I feel like I'm in a box of things I can and can't do. I am in the same place I was a few posts ago when I said that I am resenting the freedom the people around me have. Must be why this bothers me so much.

So I will kick myself silly for a while until I learn how to deal with this, I do think I am judging too many people at the moment. This is free shot to anyone who wants to fling some of my own dirt back at me.

I know I don't do everything right. I just forgot what it felt like. I'm sorry for the people I've judged and hurt. I am paying for it now.