I want some good news!

Everything seems to be pulling me down lately. I'm on a crazy roller coaster that I can't get off. I'm enjoying the little pleasures that come with life but overall I feel as though I'm letting myself down along with everyone I love.

There is an intense battle in my head that is fighting good and evil it feels. I know I should be fighting the bad thoughts but I just can't. I keep coming to the same conclusion of how unfair life is sometimes. I can't even clarify if I'm justified or not. I keep going to the passive side of me. I got that from my dad, where I just accept what is happening and live with it. I don't have the will to fight it. It feels like a losing battle.

Sometimes I feel like I need to talk about these battles in my head but I know my husband won't understand or be able to give me some constructive support. If I was being honest I probably just don't want to appear to be completely crazy! I sure feel like I am. Seeing as I have all day at home to drive myself mental its no wonder I feel crazy.

I hopefully will get a break through soon. When the year gets going and I start finding some energy to exercise and go out. Pray for me. So I don't completely lose my head.

So... 2012

What a year 2011 was... Highs and lows to say the least. It passed with a blur... I honestly have no idea what actually happened apart from having my second daughter.

Lets toast to a new year and pray hard for a better one.

I hope I'm in a different place to where I was this time last year...

Happy New Year.... Or not

Just yesterday I was filled with excitement of what the year might hold... Well then I thought about what has changed...

Uh...

Nothing.

Good thing it's only the 2nd day into the year. There's still time...

My house looks like a bomb hit it, the yard is a mess, there are half finished projects all over the place and we seem to be acquiring extra stuff by the bucket load! My house is getting smaller by the minute...

Please God tell me there is still time to fix it all before the year is out...

Alternatively a bigger house will help.

Happy New Year...