Influence

Sleep...I wish I could have some but my mind is swimming with thoughts. About the people I care about and about myself. I know once I said I wish I didnt feel anything. I take that back. Its a blessing to be able to feel. Feeling and hurt means you care and love.

The theme for this month at church is influence. I realised that it means something to be influential. As a vocalist at church and at home, with friends and family. I was wondering what kind of influence am I being? Good or bad? What are the things that are holding me back from being everything I have been called to be? I know my thoughts, emotions and mentality is an area I struggle with. I need to be aligned with God's word. My headspace needs to be carefully monitored. As its the fastest way for me to lose the plot.

Esther was a gentle influencer, Jesus was bold, not compromising his belief or calling, and Barbabas was the encourager. He raised people up and encouraged them in their calling. These are great people of influence. I want to be able to have these qualities. To be strong, loving and encouraging.

We influence people whether we mean to or not. Is it good or bad? I know I want to be the 3 things I mentioned before. In every area of my life I want to be a good influence. Its a hard road but I really think I can do this. With the help of God, good friends and determination. I will make it. I will not be broken.