Dreams

I spent a long time early this morning thinking. Trying to decide my future... Two options... Did I come to a solution? no. I tried discussing it with my husband... He didnt have an answer, he felt the same way I did. So what do we do?

Today, we were productive. We spent only an hour out, sorting some things out. But it feels like so much has changed all of a sudden. Last night I felt confused and stressed. But today I feel different... I have hope... A term that gets thrown around too much. At the moment its a slight shimmer that I am holding onto because I have nothing else to hold onto.

I need this dream to come true... I think our marriage depends on it. My sanity depends on it. My daughter needs me to be loving, stable and sane. I cant be that without this dream... or without hope.

Everything depends on God to make this happen for us. Against odds. We are so inadequate, we cant live this dream on our own.

I have learnt that God doesnt make situations happen to us, he allows them so he can teach us something and turn bad into good. We make our choices good or bad but God can turn them into good when we turn to him. He will be there when everything falls. He will also be there when life is good. I have to recognise when things are bad that he is working on something in me.

I dont know why this situation happened and I dont know what I have learnt yet but I'm holding open the door into a better place. God please go before and us and prepare a path for us that we may be blessed. Amen