He is greater

Today when I woke it was not a good day. My husband left for Stanthorpe at 5am and I knew I would be alone for the whole day with our daughter. Seeing as I was not entirely happy with him I was worried I'd be angry the whole day.

I decided as always to go to our 10am church service. Maddison was exceptionally happy as she always is. I walked into the service early with the intention of making sure I looked happy and everything was fine. But after a little while my friend Hayley got me talking and before I knew it I let out what was upsetting me. It only took one sentence to bring me to tears. I got control of myself and the service was abt to start. So nothing was done to make me feel better at that point. Just a gentle touch on my arm.

At this point I can't really tell if its hormones pulling me out of control or if there is a valid reason to be upset.

We hadn't even gotten into the message yet and there it was. A word. A prayer from the MC. That God is enough. Jesus is the answer to all our problems. He brings peace, breakthrough and wholeness. Well if that wasn't enough to bring back the tears the alter call was.

I don't go up for prayer a lot but this time I had to. God's presence was enough to remind what I have to do. Let him take my heart, my fears and my disappointments and turn them into something awesome.

The message was still incredible. But what stuck me today happened before Ps Gordon got up to preach. Just to be reminded who I am. I don't have to do this alone.

Don't get me wrong, my life is not all of sudden amazing now. I just know that I don't need to figure this out. I don't need to fight. I just need to hand it over and let God take me to place of peace. He has broken my walls of resistance and given me peace and hope for the future.

I no longer feel hopeless and lost, I feel like I can cope, no matter what happens and how horrible I feel. I don't need to know why this happened. I don't need to know how it's going to be fixed. I just need to know that is here and he has plans.
I don't have plans. I can't make my brain work but he has plans. Plans specific. For ME. He knows ME. How I think, how I work, what inspires me, what makes me, me.

What else can I say? He loves me. I am valuable to HIM. My life, ultimately is HIS. Nothing else matters. I am human but he is GOD.

All things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28