Breaking my heart

Let it all out - Relient K

Let it all out, Get it all out, Rip it out remove it, Don't be alarmed when the wound begins to bleed. Cause we're so scared to find out out, what this life's all about. So scared we're going to lose it, not knowing all along that's exactly what we need.

And today I trust you with the confidence of a man who's never known defeat but tommorow, upon hearing what I did I will stare at you in disbelief. Oh inconsistent me crying out for consistency.

And you said I know that this will hurt but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

And I'll let it be known at times I have shown signs of all my weakness but somewhere in me there is strength and you promise that you believe in time I will defeat this cause somewhere in me there is strength.

And today I trust with the confidence of a man who's never known defeat and I'll try my best to just forget that that man isn't me.

Reach out to me make my heart brand new. Every beat will be for you. For you. And I know you know, you touched my life. When you touched my heavy heart and made it light.

I thought the best way to describe how I feel is write the lyrics of a song. I listened to this a few weeks ago and cried when I realised what God was telling me. I have listened to this song for quite a few years now but didnt really get what it was saying. It made me cry when I realised that this was exactly how I felt and suddenly knew how God felt about me.
I know God is breaking my heart so that I will surrender it over to him. I feel like I'm going backwards but God is just preparing me for something else. I did enjoy the brief time I had feeling good about myself though. It doesn't happen very often although I am getting tired of struggling to keep my head up.

Its funny that if it was a physically situation not a emotional one then I think I would be able to deal with it fine. But when it's in my head and my thoughts then I go down hard.


Hear is a little bit of another song has always touched me.

When I got tired of running from you I stopped right there to catch my breath, there your words caught my ears. You said, "I miss you son. Come home"
And my sins , they watched me leave and in my heart I so believed the love you felt for me was mine. The love I wished for all this time.
And when the doors were closed I heard no I told you so's I said the words I knew you knew. Oh God Oh God I needed you. God all this time I needed you, I needed you.
(I so hate consequences - Relient K)