It took a while

I finally feel normal... It only took 9mths!!

After a 30min session on my treadmill I realised that my body and mind are starting to function normally again. I am fitter than I feel and my mind is not screwing with me so much. I felt like it was never going to end and that I would do something drastic to make me better. I survived without drugs and without some extreme situation to realise that I would be ok... eventually.

My life hasnt come to an end just because I had a baby, in fact it has been enriched. It just took a while to notice that. I never knew I could worry and love so much at the same time. I never knew that I could be so calm and gentle with my daughter. Or just relaxed with her.

I've learned so much by having her, I know I wouldnt want to live life without her. I have grown in more ways than I ever knew possible. She is a bright shining light in a dark world. So innocent and dependent. I just keep praying that I dont screw this up.

So it took awhile to know the value in my life, the point and the joy. But I'm there and I love it. Its not perfect but I appreciate it.