Gipped

I hate it when you realise you've been ripped off. For something that at the time just didn't matter. Looking back you really think how unfair it actually was. I don't like dwelling on the past but this wasn't fair especially from the person that is supposed to put you first and love you unconditionally.

My husband's birthday and mine are 3 days apart. So that in itself can be a problem. I turned 25 this year. We didn't have a lot of money. Dan found what he wanted for his birthday. A HD recorder. I said fine when he promised to spend on me what he spent. So he got his present late but he got what he wanted. Then he managed to get my anniversary bangle fixed. It had been broken for a while now. That was it. Now his Mum thought it was the best present to buy him skirmish vouchers. But he still has to pay for extra paint balls which i might add are not cheap. So he gets a day with his mates plus a few hundred dollars spending money. While I got stuck with an $80 repaired bangle.

Normally this kinda stuff doesnt bother me all that much because its just material stuff but we are struggling at the moment so this really pisses me off. I started sorting through clothes and things for this baby that's due in 5 weeks and realised I need to buy some stuff. We are not going to have money for that. I will have to just take it where I can because Dan will tell me to wait and say we can't afford it. I still need to buy a few things for myself but again we don't have the money. This makes me uncontrollably mad. I don't know what to do except ask my Mum for money for the things we need while my husband spends money on the things he wants.

This is not the first time. I have had discussions about this on my first mothers day and at Christmas where he spent money that was given to the both of us, on himself. It seems to be a recurring thing. He has also spent my tax return on bills.

I will admit that he did organise a massive night out for me for a birthday. I really appreciated him for that. But lately things just seems to be all about him.
I love him to death but I am so frustrated at double standards that he lives by. After having to grow up with double standards, it gets a bit repetitive.

So while I'm not working and getting any sort of income. I feel a tad useless and am racking my brains for a solution. To get through to him and to afford the things we need for our growing family. I feel like I'm the only one trying to look after us. No doubt there are times he's gone without. I just don't think it adds ups.

I wish this wasn't such a negative blog but I need to get it out of my head. It'll only make me more mad and stressed. I pray that he sees sense and starts being fair. Thats all I'm asking for. I don't think that's unreasonably.